There’s another thing I forgot to write about my time at Juvie. I was in a play.
It was during the summer semester. The play was titled No Opera at the Op’ry House Tonight (or, Too Good To Be True). Rather than describe it myself, I’ll let a summary from a script website do it for me. (I found the title and the play information via judicious use of Google.)
It was supposed to be a Vomedy, but I don’t think it was really that funny.
I played the heroic Billy Bright. The director really took a shine to me during the audition process, and I think she even showed me favoritism. It seemed like a lot of people were resentful that I got such a choice role – like I didn’t deserve it or something. She probably gave it to me because I was so naïve and innocent. Regardless, I remember receiving a lot of condescension from almost everyone. The director had to coach me a lot to actually try to act during the performance.
Alma Pumpernickle was played by Sarah, a girl I mentioned in a previous “Friend Zone” entry. She was my first true crush, and I won’t go over that whole sad story again. Refer to the previous entry if you want to know more. She was incredibly beautiful, as I recall it anyway, and I think they edited a scene where we kiss out of the script because of our school’s Baptist nature. It would have been totally sweet if they had left it in.
Baron Wolfgang von Wolfpack was played by the proto-goth I mentioned in a previous entry. I remember a few things about him. He never wore any article of clothing that wasn’t black, and when people questioned him on it, he was always evasive about his reasons. He was very sarcastic and bitter. One time I dressed all in black, not really as an imitation of him, but he perceived it as such and laughed at me derisively. I also remember he was a master at ad-libbing lines, and he saved one performance of the play when another cast member bungled a line, by employing a witty retort that perfectly fit the situation. He was probably the best actor among the troupe.
I remember an incident in practice. One of the cast members promised me that if I would practice my lines with him I would laugh my ass off. So I agreed, and he began to read the lines. He interspersed foul curse words and sexual innudendo into every line. Of course, I didn’t even crack a smile, because I considered such language to be extremely sinful.
My entire family showed up to watch me in the play, despite the long drive from [REDACTED] to Juvie. They and the rest of the audience laughed quite a lot. They were very proud of me. The climactic scene came when Baron Wolfpack put a screen between Billy Bright and Alma Pumpernickle, to prevent them each from knowing who they were marrying. They were already in love, you see, and if they had known they were marrying each other, they wouldn’t agree to have the marriage immediately annulled. At the presentation of the wedding ring, I had to punch my hand through the screen and shove the ring in the woman’s face. That’s just the kind of humor the play consisted of. I’ve tried to find the script in a digital format, but apparently it’s only available for purchase through various drama club type websites.
The next semester, Fall, they had auditions for a performance of Oklahoma! but I didn’t get in that play, probably because I’m terrible at singing, but also possibly because the director had less leeway to show favoritism to students she liked. I tried out for a play at Asbury as well, but it was a musical, too, and during the audition I performed an absolutely terrible, tone-deaf rendition of “Amazing Grace.” I’m not really that good an actor, either, and thinking back on it, it surprises me that I had such an opportunity at Juvie at all. I have to say it was one of the highlights of my teenage life.