In 199X, Dad finally got tired of dealing with us and shipped us off to what was essentially a Reform School, and without a doubt the worst place I’ve ever spent any significant amount of time: [REDACTED]. Young delinquents who had been kicked out of all the Public Schools in their area, children of Divorce, children whose parents were just tired of them (like mine was) – these were the types that ended up at this glorified Juvenile Hall. Dad claims that he only sent us there because his female flame at the time, a woman half his age, convinced him that they had an excellent Academic Program. But I don’t believe him.
My first Semester there, which was a summer school, was actually quite cool. The really terrible students must not have been attending, because I didn’t get bullied very much. Perhaps the ones attending Summer School were the ones who really cared about their Academics. My room-mates mostly liked me and were friendly toward me. They stuck up for me, too. I remember one time I admitted I was a flop with the ladies and they responded, “Yeah, man, we’re definitely going to get you laid this summer.” But it never happened. I was also friends with Damien, this massive brick shit-house of a dude who paradoxically liked to play SSI Gold Box Dungeons & Dragons games on his Commodore 64 in his room. Because he was so intimidating, a lot of people left me alone. I think he kinda liked me because he maybe he sometimes got teased for having nerdy hobbies but could fuck you up, whereas I had nothing to redeem me, because I was a pure nerd.
Juvie had a strict “Contraband” policy. You had no privacy in your room, and your belongings were subject to scrutiny at any time. You had to give the faculty the combinations to your locks on your locker and your foot-locker, which could be searched randomly. This contraband extended to aerosol cans (because of the drug-like qualities when inhaled), Secular music CD’s, and any media which seemed influenced by Magic or “Witchcraft.” I remember one time my room-mate removed a false bottom from his foot-locker, revealing a pristine copy of Final Fantasy for the NES, in its original packaging. It was treated as a revered and Holy Object by all of my dorm-mates, but I had never heard of the game at the time, I only knew it was “Sinful.”
Speaking of Sin, an Occult fascination went around the dorm at one point, with people giving each other tarot and Ouija board readings. I remember one time a friend of mine, Alan, encountered a boy who nearly tripped coming up the stairs to his room. Alan claimed this was because he had placed a Hex on him, and he better watch out, or he would place worse Hexes on him in the future. I thought to myself, “Your Hexes won’t work on me, because I believe in Jesus, and Jesus protects me!” There was also a boy named Shane who was like a proto-goth, dressed always in black, with a brooding and sarcastic mood.
Discipline at Juvie was strict. They had several varieties. If you were bad, the first step was that you would be “Campused,” or confined to the Campus and unable to leave on the weekend. The next step was “Dormed,” where you had to remain in your Dorm at all times when not in class. The next step was Corporal Punishment, and if you were resistant to all of these and nothing else could be done, you were packed off to The Farm to shovel pig shit with all of your free time.
I never did get “Campused” or “Dormed,” but I did receive a spanking one time for being late to class. They locked the doors precisely on the hour, and the only way to get in was to go to the Principal’s office and get a spanking, then get a little slip proving you had received your spanking, which would allow you access to the classroom. I thought that was kinda a strange system. Another stricture of the school was that Males were forbidden to associate with Females, to prevent any sort of sexual contact. They accomplished this by permanently relegating all Females to their dorms, only permitted to leave at certain times to visit the Gym, where they could associate with the Males under heavy supervision.
The only reason you could ever miss class was if you were sick. The only time you were considered “sick” is if a Faculty Member took your temperature and confirmed that it was above 99. In any other case, no matter how bad your cough or vomiting or whatever, you had to go to class. I was sick exactly one time while I was there, and I stayed in bed bundled up in thick blankets, trying to sweat it out. I remember our Dorm Supervisor brought me a bowl of pea soup for lunch which was terrible.
Juvie had an “Allowance” system where your Parents could leave money with the School, and dole small portions of it out to you on a daily basis. My Dad provided for like one or two dollars each day, and in order to secure it, you had to request it from a little “Bank” that was located in the School’s Post Office. The Post Office also held a Snack Shop staffed by a mentally handicapped man whom everybody was fake-friendly with but ridiculed behind his back. I remember every morning I would use my two dollars to buy a Coke and a Swiss Cake Roll.
During the fall semester at Juvie I was abused and degraded.
I was a notorious smart-ass at the time I was going to Juvie, and it got me into trouble several times. I would make some kind of crack toward someone, and they would get up in my face and shout, “Yew gettin’ smawrt wit’ me, bowah?” (Eastern Kentucky accent) I remember one time, I was sitting in the Cafeteria across from a boy who had a prominent cold sore on his upper lip. I couldn’t help but glance at it, and he glowered at me, “What are you lookin’ at?” Without a moment’s hesitation I snapped, “You know, I haven’t figured it out yet!” Which prompted him to retort with the usual business. This time, however, it escalated into physical threats. He started laughing and taunting me about how he was going to beat my ass. He followed me out of the Cafeteria and walked beside me as I headed to my next class. Suddenly, without warning, he jacked my jaw. A solid, clean punch, right on the chin. It was the only time I’ve been punched in the face in my life. I was sent reeling. He growled several warnings not to fuck with him in the future and went on his way.
I wore odd clothing that singled me out for ridicule. I remember I had a T-Shirt that had a man in a NASA Space Suit floating in front of stars and planets, and the space suit glowed in the dark. I thought it was rather cool. Above the picture was printed the words, “Rocket Ranger,” which also glowed in the dark. My gym teacher would frequently have us watch movies when he didn’t want to deal with us. One time I was wearing this NASA shirt when my gym class was watching New Jack City in a Conference Room off the basketball court. I got up to use the bathroom and inadvertently walked in front of the television, whereupon some hooligan shouted “Sit down there, Rocket Ranger!” Everyone burst into laughter, and I was humiliated. I used to wear dress pants that were too short for me. They would ride up substantially above my ankles. One time on my way to church, a Delinquent shouted at me, “Where’s the flood!?” and laughed heartily. I was clueless, however, and thought he was referring to the thick winter coat I was wearing.
It was a requirement that every student at Juvie had to work a Part-Time Job. When I was there doing summer school, my Job was cleaning various classrooms in a certain building – I can’t remember which one. However, when the full Term started that Fall, I joined the Academic Team – and members of the Academic Team were not required to hold a job. That was sweet. However, my poor Brother had to labor in the bathrooms of the Gymnasium, cleaning up shit and pulling used tampons out of clogged toilets. He always resented me for not having to work while he was performing such a disgusting job.