A little entry this time, although it would qualify as a mental illness tale. Back during the short time I lived with Christian in 2003, I became obsessed with the Adam Sandler movie Punch Drunk Love. Specifically, I became obsessed with the scene where he develops amazing courage due to the power of his newfound love, and beats the shit out of some thugs who are trying to extort money out of him after he called a phone sex line. He absolutely clubs the crap out of them with a tire iron, and he even flips it when he grabs it from one of them to begin his rampage.
So, completely unhinged, I activated the “A-to-B” function on my DVD player and put that beating scene on infinite loop. I told myself I had the same badassery as Barry from that movie, just waiting to be revealed, and if I provoked myself enough I could unleash it and become a pro-active dynamo. Then I started punching the fucking wall. Specifically, I began punching a door frame that led to the dining room. I did it over and over until intense pain radiated through my hand and arm.
The next day most of my right hand was swollen and purple, particularly between the pinky and ring finger. This caused a moment of awkwardness for Erin because I went on-site and Angela, an employee of one of her Startup’s clients, saw my hand and asked me what happened. I told her I got in a fight. Her silence and awkwardness implied that she thought I was involved in abuse of some kind, either giving or receiving. If I remember right, Erin’s face turned beet red.
The actual client was a chiropractor, and he had one of those real-time motion x-ray cameras, so he took me in the back and put my hand under the lens. He pointed to the pinky knuckle joint and said, “Yes, caco, you’ve actually completely crushed this knuckle. It’s shattered. You’ll probably have to have a pin put in it.” And he looked dismayed. He said the condition was called “Boxer’s Knuckle” for self-evident reasons. I never did go to the hospital for it, though, since I didn’t have insurance, and the damn thing healed up just fine. There’s still a little lump just to the left of that knuckle, though, where I assume the bone developed a protrusion during the process of growing back together.