I’ve been leaving this Journal alone for some months now. Probably all of my friends have stopped reading it. However, I’m going to try to update it at least once weekly with the latest events, thoughts, etc. from my life. It will probably be extremely boring. But I’m going to do it anyway. I used to keep a Journal many years ago and I lost it, but I’d like for something of me to be preserved into the future. So we’ll see what happens.
The latest big event to happen was my last talk with my counselor at the po’ folks Mental Health Clinic that I go to. She was of the opinion that I suffer from schizoaffective disorder, and when I brought up my desire to re-enter the workforce she was very scornful of that idea. She told me horror stories of crazy defectives like me who thought they could handle a job, only to lose it after less than two months . . . That’s something I don’t need. I argued a bit about the diagnosis, especially since she got some of my symptoms wrong (I’ve never heard voices or talked about mind control). But the whole conversation was very discouraging, made me want to throw up my hands and do nothing but get fat and play videogames. I’ve managed to keep at my daily “self-improvement” tasks but I’ve been flagging in motivation quite a bit. Probably I just need to find a mental health practitioner who’s actually qualified.
My roommate has been out of town during the week the last few weeks, which leaves me isolated, unable to get out of the apartment. So I’ve started another run of Baldur’s Gate 2. I did have a lot of enhancements installed to make the game more difficult, but some of them were too hard to be enjoyable (lots of reloading) so I uninstalled them. The game is quite fun but I’ve inadvertently installed several mods which add overpowered items to the game, and rather than do it over or limit myself I’ve taken to using the items. I think my lead character’s AC is like -20 right now. Ridiculous. But I’ve played the game twice before, so I think I’m entitled. The bad part is my roommate took the Xbox 360 with him (It’s his) but I think he’ll bring it back this weekend so I’ll make certain to have Call of Duty 4 ready for it.
That’s all I feel like writing right now. I may update again this evening.