I dreamed I was living with half my family, but for some reason, my brother was Jack fuckin’ Nicholson. This was back in his pre-Easy Rider days, before he became a big star. He had almost no money or prospects. I stepped in his room to talk to him, and he had a huge bag of ganja, probably 8 oz. easy. He invited me to smoke it with him but I was afraid of Dad finding out and I was like, “Naah, I better not.” But he just rolled one up and toked away like this dismissal didn’t even bother him at all. He kept bitching about not getting any work and I kept saying things like, “Don’t worry, Jack, you’re gonna make it really big one of these days as a–” and he would interject “As a director?” And I would just say, “Yeah, man, sure . . . as a director.” And he would get all pumped and take huge skull drilling hits.
Anyway after this I was at some type of fighting academy and I was flunking out of all the self-defense courses. I couldn’t even run one of those tire obstacle course things right, I was such a schmucky klutz. Anyway eventually they slapped some type of electronic bracelet on me and told me the school trip for the day would be to a maximum security prison. So I went there ahead of everybody else and wandered in through some open gates. I realized this was a mistake as guards with rifles started drawing beads on me as I ambled around. So I tried to go out a different gate but there were two guards there, who started asking questions. “Why are you wearing this bracelet?” they would ask, all suspicious. “Only the inmates are supposed to wear these. You must be a new inmate!” It was then that I realized the fighting academy, in order to get rid of my useless self, was planning on dumping me there after the trip. Then I woke up.